We’ve Misunderstood Fear — And It’s Costing Us Our Lives

'The Fire in the Belly: What Passion Really Feels Like'

Fear is not one thing. It's not a single emotion with a predictable shape. Yet in modern society, we’ve collapsed the definition of fear into a vague, misunderstood warning sign that stops us in our tracks instead of sharpening our senses. Even worse, we’ve confused fear born of trauma with the fear that comes with risk, growth, and transformation.

That confusion is keeping us stuck. And it’s slowly killing our internal fire.

Fear vs. Terror: A Crucial Distinction

When I was a child, I wasn’t just afraid of my adopted mother—I was terrorized. Her punishments were more than discipline; they were calculated emotional and physical torment designed to control through dread.

That kind of fear doesn’t serve as a teacher. It leaves psychological residue that follows us into adulthood and poisons our perception of challenge, risk, and personal growth. We start treating any fear as dangerous and retraumatizing—even when it’s actually a sign that we’re stepping into something new and worthwhile.

Why We’ve Become Emotionally Numb

Over time, we learn to shut down. The body can only take so much cortisol before it begins to numb out of self-preservation. And so, we medicate, we avoid, and we cope. We turn down the volume on everything—including passion, purpose, and ambition.

This is where the concept of "apathy as the villain" comes into play. We stop doing hard things, not because we’re lazy, but because we’ve lost touch with the kind of fear that once woke us up, filled us with adrenaline, and made us want to fight for something.

We don’t fear real danger anymore—we fear discomfort. And as a result, we’ve lost our edge.

Being Alive and living are not the same thing.

The Fire in the Belly: What Passion Really Feels Like

Melissa Gouty, in her article Do You Need Passion—“Fire in the Belly”—to be a Creative Success?, describes passion not as something performative or loud, but as a deep internal force—the “fire in the belly” that drives someone forward no matter what.

“Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be.” — Roald Dahl

That’s the kind of passion that matters.

It’s not about showing the world your fire. It’s about feeling it burn inside you—compelling you to create, fight, love, grow, move.

When that fire is gone, you feel dead inside. You wake up each day going through motions. And you start to wonder if you’ve missed your chance to live a real life at all.

But the truth is, you can get it back.

How Fear Reignites Passion

The real, raw kind of fear—the kind that makes your chest tighten and your hands shake before a big leap—isn’t your enemy. It’s your ally. It’s your signal that something matters. That you’re standing at the edge of a deeper version of yourself.

When we stop avoiding fear and learn to walk straight into it, something happens: we wake up. We feel alive again. The apathy cracks. The adrenaline returns. And that old fire, the one you thought had died, begins to flicker again.

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The Takeaway

You don’t need to eliminate fear from your life. You need to reframe it. Not all fear is trauma.

Not all discomfort is danger.

Sometimes, the fear you're feeling is just your soul getting ready to evolve.

Let that fire in your belly lead you back to yourself.

Let it. Let it burn.