Daddy Doubts – AITA for Being Upset My Husband Wants a Paternity Test?

Are you my daddy?

AITAH if I'm upset that my husband mentioned getting a paternity test?

My (31F) husband (32M) just mentioned that he's keen on getting a paternity test for our 3 week old baby girl.

His reasoning is that our daughter has darker hair than him (he has brown hair, I'm white blonde). I'm a little confused as she hardly has any bloody hair and this just feels like he's accusing me of infidelity!!!

I actually thought he was joking initially. The conversation went as follows:

He said, "her hair is really dark". So I said, "yeah, it is" even though it isn't darker than his. He then mentioned getting the test...it was completely out of the blue. I initially said that he should go for it as I wasn't thinking. But, now I've had some time to reflect, I'm really not happy about it. If he wants to get the test, fine by me BUT, it just feels like he doesn't trust me? Am I overthinking this?! He has no reason to think like this.

He even went as far as to say, "if she wasn't mine biologically, she'd still be my girl"... That statement just pissed me off and I've said nothing to him since.

So, AITAH?

Update 1: Thanks for all the comments and advice. There seems to be some common responses, so I thought I'd just reply to them here... I'm more than happy for him to get the test but, as most have mentioned, that would confirm his lack of trust in me, his wife, and I don't think I could overlook that. I think I'll seek some counselling to discuss this issue further (I'll be inviting him to join me!!).

Some mentioned that our daughter might have been swapped at birth and the test would benefit us both. I can assure all of these commentators that she didn't leave my side once throughout our hospital stay (from her entrance to the world, to her leaving the hospital with us). I'm very happy that she's our little one.

Most people mentioned projection on his part. I must admit I hadn't thought about this! I'm almost certain that this isn't the case but, I will discuss my fears/concerns with him as this is now at the forefront of my mind!

I will update accordingly.

Thank you all!

The AITA Court of Public Opinion is now in session.

Plaintiff: Wife (A.K.A. The New Mom Who Did Not Cheat)

Charges: Unwarranted Accusations, Postpartum Trust Issues, DNA Drama

Defendant: Husband (A.K.A. The Suspicious New Dad)

Defense: Scientific Curiosity, “Just Making Sure” Syndrome

Statement of Facts:

Wife and Husband just welcomed their 3-week-old baby girl into the world.

Out of nowhere, Husband casually drops a paternity test bomb because their newborn’s hair looks too dark for his liking.

Wife, assuming this was a joke, played along—until she realized he was dead serious.

She initially told him, “Go for it,” but after some reflection (and a wave of postpartum fury), she’s not okay with this.

Husband tries to soften the blow with, “Even if she wasn’t mine, she’d still be my girl.”

That did not help.

Wife is now questioning his trust, his motives, and their entire marriage.

The Verdict:

Paternity tests should be about peace of mind, not paranoia. But bringing this up weeks into postpartum recovery—when emotions, hormones, and exhaustion are at their peak—is a bold and questionable move.

Trust isn’t a conditional contract. If there was no prior reason for doubt, then this is less about science and more about lack of faith.

Final Judgment: Husband gets a soft YTA (You're The Asshole), downgraded to an ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) if he agrees to therapy and some serious damage control.

Sentence: One mandatory couples counseling session, followed by a lifetime of making this up to his wife—starting with diaper duty for the foreseeable future.

What’s your verdict? Is Husband just being logical, or is this a marriage-ruining breach of trust? Drop your ruling below! ⚖️🔥

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